I'm a great-grandmother!

Via BlogTree.com, at least. That link goes to the blogs I'm "related" to. I put Jamal (despite the fact he's using LiveJournal these days) as my "parent blog" because he was the last person I knew to get one before I did (as I discovered from the Offtopic archives.)

Anyhow. Add yourself to the BlogTree.

Six concerts before the end of April

There would be more there if I weren't attempting to save money. Tori in Cincinnati, and Indigo Girls in Lexington.

On the upside, Great Big Sea is coming to Louisville on Feb 28, and tickets are only $10. I can afford that. Their bass player recently quit the band. I'm wondering if Mr. Murray Foster of Moxy Fruvous fame will join them like he did when the bassist took a break last year? That would kick some major ass.

Do you ever feel like you have something to say, but don't really feel like saying it? I have a lot of stuff I could talk about on here, but apathy has struck. Or the unwillingness to discuss. Something of the like.

This weekend my mom and sister came to visit. She was looking for flowers for her wedding bouquet. There is a severe shortage of fake blue flowers in the world, evidently. We finally found some. I don't know if she's had any luck with them, though.

This was probably the greatest amount of time I've spent with my sister for six or so years. Since right after my Papa Mooney died in 1996. While she still definitely has some problems, in general she was nicer to be around than she has been in the past. The Trileptal really mellows her out.

What I really wish for her is self-awareness, I guess. That might sound stupid, but that's the only way I can think to explain it. She's fairly intelligent, she's a good writer (for the amount of education she's really had), and she has a lot of talents that are going untapped. I wish she could have some direction, and maybe see the world in a more accurate light. In her eyes, everyone's out to get her, or someone she's close to. Uncle Chuck is trying to steal Mama Mooney's money (yeah, I'm sure he's really concerned with a few thousand dollars), Dad has some ulterior motive he'll ultimately put in action when he has Power of Attorney over her fiance (he works in a high-risk factory setting, so I guess he's cautious of stuff like that). I just want her to know a better life, where things are more stable, and nice, and even. I want her to want better things.

Her and mom stayed at a hotel in Lexington, and Shannon was really excited that they had a pool. She even went out and bought a new bathing suit for it. I didn't have one with me, but I went down to the pool with her when she was swimming. She didn't stay in long, but when she was in there all the bullshit was gone. She was just my sister, happy and splashing around like she did when we were younger. I haven't seen her just be herself in about 12 years, when she was 11. That was right before the big disciplinary problems started. Maybe there's some symbolism there... that's a pretty prone position, in a pool. You're wearing the least clothes you can get by with in public, you're in water, and we all float the same. Water as an equalizer? I don't know. All I know is that she looked happy, in a way I hadn't seen in a long time. No complaining, no smartass remarks, no grand-standing. Just my little sister.

Maybe that's why I was reluctant to write today. It's a hard idea to verbalize, and it makes me sad. There's a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel for her, and I'm hoping and wishing that she'll get out of the tunnel, and see what the world really has to offer. It's been awhile since I've really had hope in that way, for her. I've had cautious joy when she's done better, and the mania and depression seem to level out, but I've never really thought anything could change, or seen any remnant of her old self.

Bah. I'm going to go before I start crying. It's really a sissy thing to do at work. hehehe.

My brilliant remark to co-worker Ben:
"It's snowing outside."

Duh. Really? I guess I didn't want him thinking I meant it was snowing IN my office.

Tomorrow's high for Lexington, KY: 11°. Low: 1°.

It makes me want to go into hibernation in my apartment. I think I sleep better when it's cold outside, but I'm nice and warm under my Pink Fuzzy Blanket^TM

Wow. I am on quite the ticket-buying high.

March 15, Tori in Louisville. Seats: Row C
April 15, Ani in Louville, 2nd Row Center
April 17, Ani in Lexington, 3rd Row, 4 or 5 off center

However, my poor credit card is weeping from the strain. I also have a ticket to Toad the Wet Sprocket at Bogart's on Feb. 22nd. That's general admission. I don't think I'm going to make it to Indigo Girls in Lexington, nor Tori in Cincinnati. Unless a sudden amount of unexpected money flies into my life soon.

Darnit, I waited too long, and someone else named Colleen owns colleenanne.com. That used to be mine, back when you could get free URLs from that one site.

Jesus. With the wind chill, it's four degrees above zero.

Brrr. *builds an igloo*

I can't believe I'm saying this, but...

there are TOO many concerts coming to my area.

Two Ani Difranco shows, two Tori shows, Toad the Wet Sprocket, Indigo Girls. I'm going to have to cut out the Indigo Girls, I guess. Gah. I must save money for the house. Must. Save. Money. For. The House. Must repeat this to myself several times a day.

I don't know. Maybe I won't go to the Cincinnati Tori show. (Maybe I'll grow wings and fly, too.)

Anyhow. That's all I have for now. Reminder to self: Ani tickets onsale at 10 am tomorrow morning.

The first good news of 2003

Since the stroke, my mom has been in physical therapy about two times a week (more at first, tapering to twice a week.) Monday she went to physical therapy to find out it was her last day! She'd reached all the goals set for her by the doctors. This makes her very happy, because it means she's allowed to drive again. She's made close to a complete recovery (she still has a little problem saying the letter "r" in words, but it everything else is ok.)

Yay for Mom!

I find it amusing (yet disturbing) that the Clonaid cloning project began in a classroom in a former school in Nitro, WV. My father went to that school. 20/20 interviewed my mom about it when the news first broke last year, and they closed down their operation. My grandmother lives in Nitro, about two miles from the school, and my mom plays bingo in the former cafeteria downstairs.

Read about Clonaid here

I Love The Onion

Read this. Tori Amos, Ani Difranco, Dar Williams, and more! hehehe.

Oh, my. I am sooooooooo blind right now. My right eye is having a wee bit of trouble adapting.

Will someone please explain to me why I'm nervous about getting my new lenses today?

I seem to have mostly eliminated my headache via Tylenol.

I didn't do too much this weekend. Aimee and I saw 8 Mile at the dollar movies. My coat broke while I was there. It kinda sucked. I got the coat in November with Christmas money from Grandma McClanahan, and the zipper broke almost immediately. I had lost the receipt (DUH! Stupid me.), so I couldn't take it back. Saturday night it broke for keeps, the bottom metal part came off of it. And it was about 10 degrees outside. Muy frío.

Sunday I was out shopping, and Old Navy had big fluffy coats on sale for $30, so I got one of those (in blue). It's a man's coat, but I really don't care. It's warm, and I like it a lot better than the other coat I bought.

8 Mile was ok. I kept waiting to hear the song you hear in the previews (which is the only Eminem song I can remember liking), but they never played it in it's entirety. The movie was worth $2. It kept my interest well enough. Kim Basinger did a horrid accent, though. The movie has definitely affirmed my non-desire to ever visit Detroit.

I finished reading Sarah Vowell's first book, Radio On. It was interesting. A bit hard to get through, which it seemed to be for her, as well. It's basically a diary of her listening to the radio every year for one year, and her observances on the contents of radio. I recommend it if you have an already existing interest in radio.

Counting Crows will be on Boston Public. I like both entities, so that's good. However, I find this odd: Counting Crows' drummer recently left because of the rigors of touring. His replacement? Peter Criss, of KISS. This is where things get weird. When he was younger, my brother was the biggest KISS fan. They were his first concert, at age nine (my father took him, in full makeup.)

Anyhow... I have actual "work" to do. (what's up with that?) I'm tired and hungry, as well. I have a dentist appointment th is afternoon. But I'm feeling a million and one times better than I did last week! YAY!

A poll

Ok, register your answer in my comments section:

Is the plural of the noun wallpaper:
1) Wallpaper
2) Wallpapers

I think 1) is grammatically correct, but 2) sounds better, in context. Weigh in your vote!

I've always found the concept of diffusion of responsibility fascinating. A defintion:

"...when individuals know that many others are present, then they as individuals do not bear the full burden of responsibility. They make the assumption that someone else must be taking care of that or
surely someone must have done something by now'."

From this article:

Basically.. if the phone's ringing, you're assuming someone else is going to get it. It's a scary theory, because you could be the one in need of help, and everyone's assuming that someone else is taking care of it. Since learning this is sociology and psychology classes I've made it my personal goal to disprove this theory. By that I don't mean I'm going to try to force a crowd to act as a group, but in a situation where someone has to take action, and it's likely no one will, I become the one that takes action. I'm not trying to seem overly altruistic. I've always been a fairly helpful person. I realize this theory will almost always hold true in crowd situations, so I make a conscious decision to be the exception.

Why do I bring this up? This morning I was getting ready for work. My apartment, and particularly my bedroom, backs onto a busy road in Lexington. I'm sitting at the computer curling my hair, and I hear metal crash into metal. I peek outside, and on the road at a near intersection there's a crash. I call 911 (it took four or five rings for them to answer. what?), and tell them what happened. I know, it's not like I rescued someone from a burning building, but if I assumed that someone else was calling, then I was falling into the trap of diffusion of responsibility. It makes me feel good that even if that's the fourth call that the 911 operator had on that particular crash (although I think it was the first), at least someone called. Maybe I'm trying to make up for a general deficit in human nature. Regardless, there was a firetruck, a few ambulances, and police at the scene in about five minutes. It didn't appear that anyone was hurt from where I was, but it was hard to see.

So in the future, I want you to prove this theory wrong. Be the person that acts. Be the one that makes the call or runs for help. And if you're ever the one in the situational emergency, pick an individual, point at them, and tell them to go get help. It gives the person a personal sense of responsibility, and they're more likely to act. If you just say, "Someone call for help", chances are that no one will.

Read more about it here. It's a really interesting subject.

blech blech blech.

I'm sick. I know, I do nothing but whine. But really, this sucks. I feel like my sinuses are trying to crawl out of my head. I'm going to the doctor (well, the Physician's Assitant, my doctor is booked) at 10:30. I like the PA, something about her reminds me of my mom.

I've also been pretty upset about the keratoconus thing, too. It really has me down. There's no way of knowing how fast/far it will progress. It's very treatable, but unfortunately, my insurance doesn't cover it. I think the money aspect frightens me as much as anything else. Glasses are expensive. Next time I have a prescription change I'm going to get one of those high-falutin' pairs of titanium frames that will weather lots of adjustments and such.

Outside of complaints, I have nothing good to say. Other than I think the Tylenol broke my fever. I missed a whole day of work yesterday, which is only the fourth or so whole day of work I've missed in my life (I've taken half days, but I usually drag myself in.)

Book recommendation of the week:
Take the Cannoli, by Sarah Vowell. I have never identified so much with one author. And to top it off: She thanks John Flansburgh of TMBG (and his wife, Robin Goldwasser) in her acknowledgements.

2003 is already shaping up to be as wonderful as 2002.

Yesterday I discovered I have a degenerative eye disease called keratoconus. What the hell is that, you ask?
"Keratoconus is a non-inflammatory condition of the cornea in which there is progressive central thinning of the cornea changing it from dome-shaped to cone-shaped." To find out more about it, read this article.

Basically, it means that my corneas are football shaped rippled, with dips, valleys, and ridges, instead of smooth and circular. I've known I've had a bad astigmatism for several years. Lately, light had been really hurting my eyes, and in low-light situations the room looked smoky. This bothered me enough to make an appointment with an opthalmologist's office. I had a couple of different tests done, and they showed two things: 1) I was only seeing 20/50 and 20/30 with my glasses I've had since April 2) I have the early stages of keratoconus. They discovered this by making corneal maps that look something this. Mine's not so colorful, but ideally, I think the maps are mostly blue and green. Mine had quite a few red and orange spotches (it reads like a topographical map.)

What does all this mean? It means that most likely, my eyesight will get a lot worse. Already, my prescriptions are changing drastically. Here are the last three:

2000 -3.25 1.75 X 30 -2.75 2.00 X 162

April 2002 -3.75 2.00 X 27 -2.75 3.00 X 165

Yesterday January 2, 2003 -6.25 2.00 X 110 -5.75 2.50 X 072

Yeah, I don't know what all those numbers mean, but I see big differences in the numbers. It can progress rapidly or slowly, or it could stop progressing at any time. If it continues to get worse, glasses probably won't be enough correction, and I'll have to get hard contact lenses (they kind of smooth the bumps and such down, but they also have the potential to be pretty uncomfortable.) Sometimes they have people wear both soft and hard contacts at the same time. If that no longer corrects your vision, they do a full corneal transplant. While no walk in the park, a corneal transplant isn't nearly as bad as any other body transplants. The chance of rejection is low, since you have almost no blood flow to the corneal area. However, it takes over a year to heal. Here's one guy's diary about his transplant. The transplants are only last resorts, however, and hopefully my eyes won't progress to that level. It's not a true blinding disorder.. the worse I could be is legally blind (and although that really sucks, it's better than having no sight.)

It kind of bothers me that the eye doctor I went to in April didn't catch any of this. From what I've read, I definintely had some signs of it as he tried to fitting my contacts. When I tried to focus in them, I'd focus for one second, and then unfocus the next. This was most likely because the disorder causes multiple focus points in the eye, and focusing depends on how you're using the eye.

What do I do now? Get new glasses. The doctor said to come back in a year, but if I notice problems before then, I'll go in earlier. I hope insurance covers the visits. I'm pretty sure it won't cover the glasses, but bleah. I'll just keep getting my prescriptions adjusted until I can see again.

What a fun beginning to a great new year!